First off, congratulations to Wellington who put one over on Canterbury and ran out worthy winners of the NZ Interprovincial Ladies Golf Tournament I was fortunate enough to go out and watch some of the excellent golf this week, and it reaffirmed my belief that beginners should watch top quality ladies playing golf rather than the top men playing as their swings are just that much classier. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all those members who were kind enough not to mention the opening test of the ashes this week, where the England Cricket Team managed to live up to the low expectations that we poor fans have learned to live with. It was great to see them give the glimmer of hope they so often offer, being torn apart in a moment as the Aussies remember just who they are bowling to. I would like to remind the Aussies that the deportation of convicts was a couple of hundred (that's "hundred") years ago, and not last week, but I suspect that they don't give a [pair of proverbial dingo's kidneys. This week also saw a stalwart member of the club achieving a personal milestone - our very own hobbit impersonator, Barrie Walsh turned 8 over par this week. Naturally, I was commissioned to compose an epic poem to mark the occasion, however, as the commission turned out to be less than lucrative, the poem was as long, as Barrie is tall: There was a spry gent named, Barrie The rough, he could no longer carry We watched his short-a**e Disappear in long grass And knew where he was by his trolley I felt that this might be deemed derogatory, so I came up with the following as an alternative: In the South Island town of Timaru Live golfers, more than a few There is one lately Who might have turned eighty And he's quite likely to shoot that too Unfortunately, this is far too accurate for comedic effect, therefore, I shall finish this newsletter with an ode to Barrie, Happy Birthday mate and we all look forward to seeing you out there soon: A Glorious shot to the middle Our hero give's his club a twizzle With towel in hand His putt he plans Then picks up his ball for a fiddle That seems an appropriate place to stop For those of you sticking around, we look forward to seeing you out there. For those of you disappearing for a well earned Christmas Break, have a wonderful time, and we welcome you back in the New Year Play safe, have fun Steve |