There have been a number of notable happenings this week: sliced bread was 93 years old (apparently it was invented in Missouri, USA in July 1924) - this naturally makes me wonder what people used to say beforehand - i.e. what was the best thing before sliced bread? Assuming a 90 (ish) year cycle of inventions, this would take us back to the 1830's when the Lawnmower was invented (1830), presumably prior to that, greenkeepers were reliant on scythes, shears and rollers. I'm not sure if people would have said that something was "the best thing since Lawnmowers", but bearing in mind the alternative could have been vulcanisation then I guess it works. 90 years before that, you would be looking at the 1740's then you would be looking at the navigational clock, without which seafarers have used and developed to traverse the world's oceans, and James Cook had one onboard when he was the first European to find NZ. I cannot imagine that the everyday parlance of the time would have included the phrase 'That be the best thing since the navigational clock, that be". You can keep going on with this game, taking it back to the 1560's you get to the lead pencil (ok, it's graphite, not lead for the pedants out there), used by golfers the world over to note down the correct score ever since (and the odd incorrect one too). Now, I might just be prevaricating a bit, because there is also the small matter of a football match (it's not called 'soccer') this evening/tomorrow morning. Some of you have kindly asked me how I am feeling about this, and the answer is nervous, and occasionally nauseous, the latter possibly caused by bouts of altitude sickness, as we English are not used to the dizzy heights that the our football team are attaining. Of course you kiwis are not used to this sort of thing (at least not recently). Your cricket team are playing brilliantly, and your rugby team typically excel at delivering to the highest of levels almost as a matter of routine. More normal avid sports fans, however, will understand the feeling in the pit of your stomach when your team is doing far better than you realistically expected, and I can tell you that as an England fan in pretty much any sport, there is an extended history of long periods of continuous abject disappointment with just the occasional flash of brilliance to illuminate the perpetual gloom - just enough to remind us of the possibility of glorious triumph before our team's usual lack of ability to handle the pressure moments, returns us to our default state of deep sporting depression. Regardless of the outcome, the team have done well to advance to the final, and I am confident that there will be universal acceptance of the result and acknowledgement of the victor, whoever that might be (please be gentle). In essence, I am expecting a demonstration of sportsmanship that you would normally see on any golf course, where winners are congratulated on their performance and they in turn, graciously commiserate with the losers. Just like the moment when my competitor last Wednesday won the haggle and celebrated as if they had won an Olympic gold medal, and all 4 majors at the same time. Honestly, the shout of triumph must have registered on the Richter scale as a medium sized quake and for a moment I was worried that some of our more fragile members might have required the defibrillator from the sheer shock of it. Congratulations to Norts on winning a pint, and good luck to all the people on the pitch at Wembley, but excuse me if I hope for just a bit more luck to go the way of the English Stay safe, stay warm and play well (just not too well please, Italy, thank you in advance) Steve |