In light of the state of current affairs around the world, I had initially put down some of the thoughts running through my brain in an attempt to understand what the efferty jefferty was going on. Then, whilst cooking the family tea, I was listening to a podcast filled with light-humoured good intentions, and it reminded me that no matter what, we need a bit of joy to act as a beacon in these dark times. So for those of you interested in my diatribe against the state of the world, it is included below - for those in need of a giggle, please continue to read on Now last week, I made a slightly obscure reference to the old adage, "What goes on Tour, stays on Tour" with my, ahem, detailed report of the shenanigans that a bunch of golfers with an average age somewhere north of 60 (possibly over 70?) got up to whilst visiting the delightful Central Otago region Suffice to say that the ones who managed to stay up on the Friday night, went to bed early on Saturday, and all of us, with our assortment of age related physical issues were hardly tearing the place up, Covid restrictions or not. Despite physical limitations, we managed to survive Cromwell, scaled Roxborough, and waded through the lush fields of Fairlie, albeit with sore heads added to the considerable list of existing ailments. Following the trip, I have been asked to provide the recipe for one of the sauces I made to go with our steak dinner on Saturday evening, and so in the spirit of a little bit of what's bad for you, is in fact, good for you, the recipe is as follows: 1. Start drinking - this will relax you and remove the anxiety caused by the prospect of feeding 14 semi-inebriated wannabe delinquents 2. Take your time - food always tastes better when someone is hungry, and your guests will appreciate the food that much more, just for actually finally receiving it 3. Get someone else to do as much of the prep as possible - I don't mind chopping veg as I tend to find it therapeutic, and it helps that white mushrooms bear a passing resemblance to golf balls after a bad day on the course, however, feeding 14 requires a lot of chopping, so get someone else to do it, remembering to criticise their poor technique as if you were once the head chef of the world's leading restaurant 4. Take the sliced mushrooms and chuck them in a pan that is on a medium-to-high heat, so that they can dry out a bit - I have explained the theory of this to my kids and now every time they see me cooking mushrooms, I am reminded of it - we don't have mushrooms all that much anymore 5. While the mushrooms are doing their thing, saute (posh French word for fry) some red onions that someone mistook for shallots in some oil - if you want to caramelise them properly, this will take about 90 minutes, but beware, you might get hit with a golf club if you take that long, so just letting them soften is fine (5(a) season - I always season as I go, so salt and pepper with every step, just a bit, and then taste as you go too) 6. Chuck in some finely chopped garlic - I was taught that if you add this too early, it will burn - so don't 7. Put the mushrooms in, having got rid of all of the bland water in them, they will start soaking up the flavours in the pan instead 8. Add some booze, in this case about a glass of white wine, season, and reduce to about a tablespoons worth 9. Add about a wine glasses worth of beef stock, and reduce to about a tablespoons worth (note, check the stock to see if it is a reduced salt version, if it is, add salt, if it isn't, don't) 10. Reduce the heat and add the cream, stirring and checking for flavour, adjust the seasoning as preferred 11. (optional) Sieve the sauce - personally I don't mind bits, and as we didn't have a sieve, we didn't have the option anyway 12. (also optional) - after resting the steak, there will be juices on the plate, and they are great added to the sauce 13. Yell at the now blind-drunk/half-starved golfers, that grub is up and serve Enjoy Stay safe and play well, Steve *** The other bit: 5 and a half years ago, my wife and I made the decision to come to New Zealand, she would be returning home, and I was looking to make a change. I have been known to remark that two of the most seismic political events of that decade were genuine influences on this decision, namely Brexit (which I am still angry about) and the election of the self-loving-orange-insult-to-all primates-generally. I decided at that stage that it would be prudent to raise our children in a more "stable" environment, as partisanship and the level of hate seemed to be increasing at an accelerated place. At the time, it was a bit of a gag, a tongue in cheek acknowledgement of the seeming ridiculous state of national and international politics that was happening at the time. The idea of being as far away from anywhere else as possible appealed, despite the negative consequences of being so far from family and what is still, and always will be, my home. Still, I thought I saw the writing on the wall, so off we went As a student of history, I wholly believe that those who do not study history, are doomed to repeat it. The current trend of re-writing history to suit the aggressors and justify the illegal actions that they were either about to, or had just completed, is, of course, straight from the "Dummies Guide to Oppression". In the past, every regime has sought to alter facts to suit their narrative and this is not restricted to the Stalin's and Hitler's of the world, but to our own democratic leaders as well ("Alternative Facts" anyone, or how about the dictionary definition of a party vs a gathering?), and is one consequence of the hyper-connected "reality" of the modern world - we live at a time when information almost seems to move faster than events, and we have yet to comes to grip with the information overload that we try to wade through on a daily basis. At such a time, dis-information is rife, just ask a typical Russian why they are at war with Ukraine, and they will spout the party line as it is the only source of news that they are allowed. Trump fanatics swallow his conspiracy theories because that is all the "news" that they choose to read - a symptom of our tribal ancestry where we are wired to try and just fit in with similar minded people in order to justify our own thinking, regardless of how misguided it may, or may not, be. In the 80's, Ronald Reagan, a paragon of virtue to right wing US Republicans, canned a law which forced news broadcasters and papers to be fair and balanced in their reporting, in order to pave the way for competition and increased revenue streams. We see the result today with partisan news channels, each funded by advertising to their very specifically targeted audiences. The news today is about what can be sold to the viewers/readers, it is not about accurate reporting of the facts and should, be viewed with that in mind. All of which is an incredibly sad state of affairs, and watching the innumerable personal tragedies unfolding in Eastern Europe from this side of the planet, I have to say that I am glad that I brought my family here. We are lucky to live in a country where you are allowed to stand up and speak your mind in opposition to the ruling government (in Russia the rules for a demonstration are that you can demonstrate against the President, so long as you do it by yourself, protest in a pair and you will be arrested at best, or met with force). We are fortunate to live in a country where you can congregate outside parliament and complain about being in the vast minority, whilst wearing tin foil hats (because history has always treated tin foil hat wearers with a huge amount of respect) and hurling excrement at fellow human beings. So should we all despair? No, I refuse to believe that we should. Fundamentally, the human race is good, we will help each other out when we need to, for proof, look at the borders being opened to take the stream of refugees from Ukraine, or at the protests that are taking place despite the despotic rules in Russia. Look at the spirit and courage being shown by the Ukrainians defending their homes, and look at how despite his endless political maneuvers to the contrary, Putin has managed to re-unite the democratic nations in the face of his aggression against another sovereign state. And yes, the internet and the news are full of woe and misery, misinformation and delusion generating rabbit-holes, but it is also the source of information and knowledge sharing that it was created to be (even if we do need to learn how to disseminate that knowledge better), and it also allows us to communicate instantly with family and friends all over the globe in a way that would have been unimaginable not so very long ago as well as all of the other benefits that it does bring There are loads of amusing cat videos and more golf tuition online than you can possibly comprehend, so there's that too. In conclusion, we are living through a dark period of human history, as we grapple with new challenges brought on by new technologies that speed up life to an almost impossible pace. but we will prevail, just as we have before when other despots have tried to steal what doesn't belong to them. There will be those who will stand for the oppressed and the weak, who will remind the rest of the importance of human dignity in the face of terrifying adversity With that in mind, my heart goes out to all those under the boot heel, and I thank my lucky stars that we live in a place where daring to speak up does not lead to being put down permanently. Good luck to all of those in Ukraine |